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The Evolving Role of Motherhood
When I first became a Stay-At-Home mom 15 years ago, my days were filled
with diapers, picking up toys, cleaning up messes, and running after busy
little pre-schoolers. The days started early, usually at 6 am, and I moved
almost constantly until early evening when I would tuck the little darlings
into bed and then collapse on the couch, wondering “will it EVER get any
easier?”
As the years moved on, we entered into the “Elementary Years” and while
I wasn’t chasing my children anymore, I was driving them. It felt like
a I was always in the car ; I was tempted to get a sign designating my
vehicle as “Mom’s Taxi”. There were classes to get them too and sporting
events and practices they where they needed transportation. If I wasn’t
driving them, I was driving myself to be with them. There were field trips,
class events, and special school programs to attend. After supper, when
the dishes were done and the kids were settled in doing their homework
and preparing themselves for bed, I would collapse on the couch, wondering
‘will it EVER get any easier?”
The years keep moving on; time has a way of doing that. My presence is
not requested much at school anymore and my teens would rather be involved
with their friends than with Mom. While I do have more free time since
my kids have learned to become more independent and care for many things
themselves, “Mom’s Taxi” is still in service, getting much use picking
kids up from school at various times,(since they never seem to get out
at the same time!), dropping off their friends whose parents both work
outside the home, and transporting them, and a multitude of friends, to
different activites. But this won’t last much longer. My oldest has passed
his 16th birthday and is studying to get his driver’s permit and my daughter
is only a year behind him. Soon they will be begging to borrow the car,
even if it means they have to transport their siblings!
Now, in the evenings, there are times I can actually sit on the couch WITHOUT
collapsing and I ask myself, “IS parenting any easier since my kids are
teenagers?”. The answer....no, not really. Parenting isn’t any easier,
just different. While I’m not as physically tired anymore, there is a lot
of emotional energy spent raising teens. While they continue to mature
and become more independent, my teens still need me to be involved in their
lives. I need to continue to guide them, yet be careful not to try to control
them. Striking this balance isnt’ easy. Making the adjustment from raising
children to raising teenagers is a lot of work!
I suspect that as my children continue to grow up into adulthood it won’t
ever really be ‘easier’ being a mom, just ‘different’.
As the years pass, my children will still need me, just in different ways.
I’ve come to realize that my mother was right, parenting IS a lifetime
commitment. And who ever said that it was going to be easy anyway?
| This article may be re-published
as long as the following resource box is included: Patricia Chadwick is
a a freelance writer and publisher of Parents & Teens a website and
twice monthly newsletter geared to help parents connect with their teens.
To subscribe click here.
or visit www.beyoncesource.com
She also publishes History's Women, an online magazine highlighting the
extraordinary achievemnents of women throughout history. Visit her site
at www.historyswomen.com or
subscribe to her weekly newsletter at . |
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